I've have been so up and down and all over the place can't bear today to put a smile on my face two days ago nothing could have wiped it away and I'm losing my sense of direction losing my sense of self I'm wondering when this will end hoping that it's sometime soon cause I've dealt with all before for four damn years I stuck it out I don't know how I managed then but I know I can't do it again it's all wearing me down my lack of grace and ability all I really want is someone who'll both be my friend and love me so why won't you take my hand hold me just for a little while what is so wrong with me that you won't even give me a call and it all feeds my insecurity and gives fodder to my insomnia falling asleep has become a chore that gets put off as long as possible with all these thoughts in my head that won't ever just shut up