April 10, 2000

  I need to create beauty
I need to have beauty inside of me
I hate what happened to us
It made me ugly
And now I turn everything I touch
Into something ugly too
And the only way I know
To cleanse myself of all this
Is to be with you agian
But even if you'd let me back in
I don't think I could let you in
Because you've become just another person
Our connection was severed long ago
And though we may still talk from time to time
There's nothing under it all
No secret understanding

And I miss you in a way
That I can't quite understand
You're eating away at my core
Even as I try to push you further away
I'm beginning to think
That you could be my downfall
I had never let anyone in before like you
And I've discovered that in kicking you out
You're taking some of my stuff
And leaving some of yours
So things can never go back to
The way they were before


April 8